the lion roared

i was publically humiliated by my own cat
her allergy problems started coming back. when this happens there is nothing to do but take her in to the vet for an injection. my boss recommended a NHS run clinic near to my house and said i might have good luck there. in a way he was right. the british government provides nearly free medical care to pets whose owners are
1. pensioners
2. on benefits.
3. full time unfunded students.
guess which category i fell into!!! so they accepted my animal on presentation of my university information and told me to wait to be called. but i was unaware that for these things it is best to show up and queue an hour or so before the place opens. i showed up right after opening, and the queue was already 3 hours long.....so the beast and i waited. but my furry friend doesnt like being caged up, and i could see she was getting tenser by the moment. at one point a friendly but slightly dumb looking enormous alsatian dog came by and started smelling my cat's cage. my cat had had enough. she stuck her paws through the bars and savagely clawed the alsatian on both sides of his snout. he went wimpering off and put his head under his owners chair.
but the real fun was when they actually took us in to see the doctor. the doctor opened the beasts cage and my cat immediatel lunged at the poor vets throat. she the urinated all over the vet, took a huge shit on the floor, and jumped into a drawer in the vets desk, hissing all the way. the vet tried to get her out with special gloves, but she was a wild beast and it was imposible. then somehow she got into a corner, from where she would stand on her hind legs and make incredible hissing sounds at anyone who came within a metre of her. ultimately it took 3 vets and a strange metal machine to restrain her. the vet refused to see her, and sent me home with tranquilizers and instructions not to come back unless she had been drugged!
i told this story to max, and he was upset: the last time he got ill (hand badly cut open, needed stitches) he had to wait 4.5 hours to be seen by a doctor, and then it was only one. my cat got the attention of three, all free and courtesy of the NHS.
perhaps in this county it is better to be a cat?