the mormons

i had to go into work this morning at 7:30, what an ungodly hour. at first i thought i would never manage to be anywhere at that time, but it was actually rather nice: the streets were almost empty, and the metro wasnt packed with smelly peasants. i finished what i had to do by 8:30 and decided to head to the library. As the library wasnt open yet, i popped into an internet cafe to check my mail. it is not the first early morning i have gone into this cafe, so i have had the opportunity to notice a common early morning trend: mormons.
i dont know why, but it seems all the mormons in moscow flock to this one cafe every morning, at an oddly early hour, when they have the place almost to themselves. since they apparently dont drink stimulants, they order juice. not suprisingly, they are all 20-something american males (do females not do this?) and they all speak absolutely amazing russian. i have long been curious about this fact. there is a joke that only two kinds of westerners can learn russian: spies and mormons. my question is: how do they do it? do they have special language schools out there in utah that teach every language spoken on earth (as i dont think these guys limit themselves to russia)? and do they ever achieve any success with their little sermons? do people actually get converted by a 20 year old in a polyester white shirt and grey trousers?
anyway, while i was wondering all this, i started listening in on their conversations. there were so many of them it was hard not to. the guy next to me had 17 siblings. yes, that is right SEVENTEEN. i restained myself from asking how many wives his dad has... another was reading the email of his sister who had just got "dis-engaged," he, after consulting with his mates, decided to advise the sister to go talk to her bishop. what planet are these people on?
after my internet encounters, i was positively relieved to get yelled at by the foul tempered babushki at leninki! at least they are not looking for converts!