managing YOUR PhD

Yesterday for the first time i got myself organised, took a day off work, and attended one of the university’s “methodological seminars.” The title of the subject in which we were supposed to be receiving instruction was “managing YOUR PhD.” It was an occasion for overblow education experts to apply thacherite corporate business vocabulary to academics. Maybe that way they can tell themselves they are in “corporate work” rather than admitting they are simply....people with education degrees...
So i walk into the room. Actually i walked in twice. The first time i was 10 minutes early. I took one look in at the uptight crowd of early arriving students and decided to get a coffee from the student union before subjecting myself to their company.
So i entered the room again 5 minutes late. By this time there were about 50 still uptight students, and a powerpoint display on the wall reading “YOU are the manager of YOUR PhD.” No shit.
For the next 7hours, we were informed that we are managers...and were told all the things we should be doing (as effective “managers”) we learned that we need “perseverence, organisation.” But that we have to avoid that trap that ensnares so many high achievers: work acholism. We were told we have to “know when to take a brake.” And so on. This pearl of wisdom was followed by a series of role plays. My favourite was “saying no to your supervisor.” Here we saw models of students saying no: the passive student, the assertive student, the aggressive student....
Mercifully, i happened to be sitting next to a polish guy, who, like me, felt we were being force fed a load of crap. So we passed notes and took the piss out of the whole thing. The scary thing was there were alot of science students who took the whole thing ultra seriously. They furiously took down notes and nodded vigorously. One thrid year phd even said that these seminars were the most memorable part of her degree....sadly this may even have been the truth, as her specialisation is about molecular biology (another girl was studying the genetic factors that contribute to the shape of the jaw....)
The seminar did have one great redeeming feature: and endless supply of free chocolat biscuits. I must have had at least 15, i would have fallen asleep otherwise.