time to pack my bags (again)

it is time for me to pack. it is very hard to condense everything you will need for several climate zones into one suitcase, especially when that suitcase must also contain some 10 academic books and several piles of notes. and my new camera. but it will get done.
before heading off though, a list.
the lonely planet bluelist book 2008 has a section on travellers' blags/ tall tales to tell the gullible. many of them listed are a bit crazy, but i will question one. the guide says a common travellers' tall tale is that of getting upgraded to first class (trying to look like a movie star etc). the lonely planet claims that this virtually never happens and that staff can get fired for doing so.
that is ridiculous. i have been upgraded to first class loads of times, and never because i have tried to impersonate anyone. what the lonely planet seems to forget is that airlines are desperate to avoid bad press and to cover their own mistakes. so here is my list: reasons for be upgraded to first/ business class
1. the flight is overbooked and they just dont have room in economy, if you are a single traveller, they often upgrade you to avoid dealing with the problem of putitng you on another flight, and offering compensation.
2. the flight is overbooked and they dont have room anywhere, so they ask for volunteers to wait for another flight. they are required to give you compensation for that, and if you ask they will normally give you a first class seat as well. the last time it happened i got a first class seat, meal vouchers, and 500 dollars, which made the 8 hour wait in atlanta airport almost worth it...
3 the airline has a delay, which is due to a fault of theirs, and as a result you miss your connection. if the next flight is full, you can demand to a seat in business/ first and get it: it is cheaper to stick you there than put you up in a hotel waiting for another flight.
4. same as above, but you have a short time to make your connection, due to the airlines error. the last time that happened to me (i had 20 minutes to make a connecting flight in paris, since my flight from moscow had been delayed by 1.5 hours) they gave me the first seat on the plane, so i could get off fast and bolt to my next gate.
5 my aunt is a travel agent. she wags her pass, and if there is room she and her companions got straight to first.
6. once i was the ONLY woman on a flight. the venezuelan, also all male, crew sat me right up front.....which seemed like an honour until i realised i would have to chat with them the entire time....

the reason i think should qualify for an upgrade (but it hasnt worked for me yet) : the person in the seat next to you is grotesquely obese and as a result you can barely breathe, especially if you have a middle seat.