a year in transience
31.12.05
amsterdam train station
how it is possible to get lost in a station which is tiny and where everyone speaks better english better than i do is a complete mystery, but i manage nonetheless. A certian greek called on my mobile just in time to give me directions to the ticket booth from the comfort of his athens flat. I guess we are all global in our own ways.
2005
et benh, voilà, c’est la saint sylvestre 2005.
Le soir du réveillon, c’est presque obligatoire d’imaginer des résolutions profondes du nouvel an, mais comment d’habitude, je souffre d’un manque d’inspiration/ créativité.
Ce n’est pas que je me trouve parfaite et exempt du besoin d’établir les points faibles à corriger….c’est juste que je manque la capacité de tracer ces points d’un façon cohérent.
Beaucoup des choses ont changé dans le courant de l’année. Après trois entretiens, j’ai gagné une place dans un programme de doctorat. J’ai passé les premiers neuf mois de 2005 en attendant le règlement de mes papiers pour me permettre de commencer le doctorat….je me suis posée les questions sur l’incompétence comparative des bureaucraties françaises, anglaises, russes et hongroises. Dans l’espace du temps perdu, j’ai réussi à lire des livres interminables, comme la montagne magique et les buddenbrooks.
Et puis, finalement, j’ai quitté paris et changé du pays, encore une fois.
Mais, même si la plupart de l’année ressemblait à le fond d’un puits noir où on ne peut que jouer la montre en attendant libération, l’année à terminé mieux qu’elle a commencé. J’ai réussi à quitter paris et son immobilisation sociale juste avant le début des émeutes qui sont commencé dans mon ancien quartier. Je n’étais pas là pour être étiquetée « racaille » par Sarkozy et ces adeptes. Je suis partie à point nommé !
Une copine était assassinée à Moscou, ma carte beau était souvent bloquée, je n’ai pas gagné une bourse ;;;;j’ai fait des amis nouveaux, j’ai retrouvé quelques amis perdus, et j’ai revu des amis après les séparations longs….
Le résultat final est ambigu, les choses ont amélioré, mais il y a beaucoup de choses qui reste à faire.
Le soir du réveillon, c’est presque obligatoire d’imaginer des résolutions profondes du nouvel an, mais comment d’habitude, je souffre d’un manque d’inspiration/ créativité.
Ce n’est pas que je me trouve parfaite et exempt du besoin d’établir les points faibles à corriger….c’est juste que je manque la capacité de tracer ces points d’un façon cohérent.
Beaucoup des choses ont changé dans le courant de l’année. Après trois entretiens, j’ai gagné une place dans un programme de doctorat. J’ai passé les premiers neuf mois de 2005 en attendant le règlement de mes papiers pour me permettre de commencer le doctorat….je me suis posée les questions sur l’incompétence comparative des bureaucraties françaises, anglaises, russes et hongroises. Dans l’espace du temps perdu, j’ai réussi à lire des livres interminables, comme la montagne magique et les buddenbrooks.
Et puis, finalement, j’ai quitté paris et changé du pays, encore une fois.
Mais, même si la plupart de l’année ressemblait à le fond d’un puits noir où on ne peut que jouer la montre en attendant libération, l’année à terminé mieux qu’elle a commencé. J’ai réussi à quitter paris et son immobilisation sociale juste avant le début des émeutes qui sont commencé dans mon ancien quartier. Je n’étais pas là pour être étiquetée « racaille » par Sarkozy et ces adeptes. Je suis partie à point nommé !
Une copine était assassinée à Moscou, ma carte beau était souvent bloquée, je n’ai pas gagné une bourse ;;;;j’ai fait des amis nouveaux, j’ai retrouvé quelques amis perdus, et j’ai revu des amis après les séparations longs….
Le résultat final est ambigu, les choses ont amélioré, mais il y a beaucoup de choses qui reste à faire.
29.12.05
some entertainment
went out for drinks in cambridge with my neighbour paul. he is my source of gossip/information about cambridge university history department. it is always good to know what people in rival institutions ar up to. they certainly produce a lot of dirt to talk about in this place, it is amazing how corrupt the place is. some of the phd stories are totally bizarre. one guy turned in his whole thesis the first month of his first year (having obviously been working on it for years before, but just looking to dodge the college fees!)...whereas another guy started in 1966 and defended last year...and the life style of these guys is wierd too, no one trust anyone else, everything is secretive, everyone tries to steal information...all this and they cant be bothered to eat a meal in their houses...ever. if they dont get fed at high table, they just go out to restaurants....despite the fact that most of the restaurants in the city centre (which none of them ventures beyond) are overpriced and not even very good...i mean how many times a week can you really eat slabs of meat with dodgy vegetables?
seems odd to me. but maybe that is why i am not at cambridge!
seems odd to me. but maybe that is why i am not at cambridge!
28.12.05
woooah
the unthinkable happened-it snowed in england
ok it is not real snow, but it looks nice, even if i think it will only last a few hours....
ok it is not real snow, but it looks nice, even if i think it will only last a few hours....
26.12.05
papers
so i decided to take drastic action: i locked myself in my flat for 36 hours and forced myself to begin writing the bloody paper. so now i have a few pages done, and an idea about where i will go next. the only problem, is that now i see what i have to do and i realise there are a few materials that i need from the library...but the library is closed! agh! oh well i have enough to do until it reopens.
so now i have left my flat, getting a break after 36 hours of the same space. so i am in starbucks, mainly for the change of scenery. i hate starbucks and the coffee here is undrinkable. so i have taken the orange juice, which is just as well as i have a cold.
i am obviously lacking in interesting news....
so now i have left my flat, getting a break after 36 hours of the same space. so i am in starbucks, mainly for the change of scenery. i hate starbucks and the coffee here is undrinkable. so i have taken the orange juice, which is just as well as i have a cold.
i am obviously lacking in interesting news....
24.12.05
24 december
It is an odd time of the year to be in england
The country is split in a combination of shopping frenzy (aided by the shops tantilising 11th hour sales) and shut down. As of this afternoon, everything, absolutely everything (even sainsbury’s!) will shut down for 24 hours. Then on boxing day, which is supposed to be a high holy day for these people, everyone will go shopping. All the shops are announcing their incentives to do so (“50% off from Boxing Day”) so it is an odd combination of frenzy and calm.
I am meanwhile too broke to participate in the shopping frenzy. So i will make a stock of necessary food items this afternoon in sainsburys and retreat into my house for 2 days (the first day because there will be nothing to do, the second because it will be impossible to move on the streets due to the anticipated hords). This is just as well. I have a massive paper to write, and i have not even managed to start it. There is so much background reading i must do first that it is a major task just deciding where to begin. I attacked JSTOR while in budapest, so i can skim the key reviews in order to get an idea of where i should be headed, but that only helps part way.
Such is life
The country is split in a combination of shopping frenzy (aided by the shops tantilising 11th hour sales) and shut down. As of this afternoon, everything, absolutely everything (even sainsbury’s!) will shut down for 24 hours. Then on boxing day, which is supposed to be a high holy day for these people, everyone will go shopping. All the shops are announcing their incentives to do so (“50% off from Boxing Day”) so it is an odd combination of frenzy and calm.
I am meanwhile too broke to participate in the shopping frenzy. So i will make a stock of necessary food items this afternoon in sainsburys and retreat into my house for 2 days (the first day because there will be nothing to do, the second because it will be impossible to move on the streets due to the anticipated hords). This is just as well. I have a massive paper to write, and i have not even managed to start it. There is so much background reading i must do first that it is a major task just deciding where to begin. I attacked JSTOR while in budapest, so i can skim the key reviews in order to get an idea of where i should be headed, but that only helps part way.
Such is life
23.12.05
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