more lists

worst places to use the toilet:
1.my secondary school in russia: now only was there never toilet paper: there werent even doors to the stalls. this meant we had to go to the toilets in groups so that one girl could hold the outer door closed (to prevent boys from running in) while the other girls used the toilets, with all other girls watching. yuck.
2. algonquin park, canada. i always went to "hit the bush" as it seemed the only civilised thing to do. the toilets installed by the authorities were scary. truely scary.
3. moscow state university. at one point someone drew a smile face on the wall with their own shit. it stayed there for months, flaking off from time to time onto the floor.
4. the hospital i was in in serbia. i dont think these things had been cleaned since tito walked this earth. there was no running water in the hospital, and naturally no toilet paper. my ukrainian flatmate smuggled some rolls of it to me, and i walked around with it non stop for the whole duration of my stay, as i was terrified someone would steal it from me. i slept with it under the pillow.
5. the exit festival, serbia. thousands of people, too few portopotties. the queues were huge and i dont think the things got cleaned once during the 9 day festival. i once woke up in the morning to see shit all around the bottom of my trousers. yuck.
6. a glaswegian pub. i dont remember the name, but it was something like out of trainspotting: the worst in scotland.
7.laurents flat in paris. strictly speaking, there was no toilet here, there was a paying one down on the street, and a sink. the choice was left to me.
8. darkos flat in belgrade. harry claimed i was the first woman ever to step into this guys flat, which i can well believe from the looks of things. it was too grimy to even put in words, best to draw a veil over this one.
9.the hungry duck in the late 1990s, moscow. the vomit was everywhere, your shoes stuck to the floor. supposedly some people died in here.....
10 the public toilet accross from the job centre plus in cambridge. there were junkies shooting up at the sink. the place stank of homelessness. no wonder you are not allowed to use the ones inside the job centre plus, such is their clientelle....

and all of this doesnt take into account the emergencies that could not be solved by an actual toilet. such as the time i had to go in a serbian sunflower feild with a whole bus watching me, or the time i had to do the same thing in the loire valley, or the time i sent in the yard of bratislava university, or the time on a greek autoroute.....or....
hmmm, reading this list i am starting to wonder: could there be a connection between orthodoxy and uncomfortable toilet experiences? serbia and russia seem overly well represented on this list, while i cannnot think of a single comprable experience in a muslim country, for example.