fainting spells

you probably never wondered what would happen to you if you fainted in the Lenin library. the topic never crossed my mind either until this morning when the girl in front of my wiped out quite unexpectantly, collapsing in a human puddle at my feet.
one of the library babas saw the girl fall, and after making a phone call, she ordered me to grab her by the legs. since saying no to a library baba is not an option i did as i was told, as did a girl who was sitting near by and was ordered to take the unconscious girl's arms. we then carried the girl (whose name i never discovered) to the central hall, as indicated by the babushka. we were met there by the Lenin Library Medsestra. i had no idea that the library even employed its own resident nurse, but it does....and an angrier baba i have never encountered!
she slapped the girl a few times on the face until she came to, and then asked her if she was pregnant. the girl claimed she wasnt, but the baba made a grunt that indicated "they all say that" and repeated her explanation. she then went for the details, asking when the last time the girl got her period, how often she had sex and so on. all of this in the central hall filled with people walking past to use the catelogues. obviously the girl turned bright red, especially whent he baba announced she would have to make a medical exam...right there! so the medical baba waddled off, ordering those of us who had carried the girl to stay with her. eventually she reappeared with all kinds of odd instruments. she took blood pressure, and then several blood samples, and continued asking all kinds of hideous questions, while people walked by and stared. i waited until she was side tracked and bolted, not wanting to spend the whole morning there....but i am very very very glad it was not me who wiped out on the library carpet!